Sunday Blues getting you down?
It could just be learned behaviour.
Why do I ask? Because I’ve struggled with this for over 35 years too!
People think that those of us who teach this stuff or coach people through difficult and challenging times have it all sewn up... Not so!
My friends think my levels of personal resilience must be through the roof as I train it all the time but I suffer just like every one else and it’s this ongoing journey that helps me support other people.
Case in point: Sunday Night Blues!
As I sit here at 8pm on a Sunday I feel the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach and the tendrils of anxiety creeping into my evening. What is this all about? It relates back to other issues I bottomed out ages ago which I won’t bore you with now, but essentially these sensations are triggered when I feel uneasy or am facing difficulties or conflict in work after a few days or weeks off any was particularly bad during the last couple of days of the Christmas break this year.
I now work for myself however and whilst it has been bloody hard work getting the business established and weathering the storm of those first six months of financial insecurity, I’m now through the other side. My work and effort have paid off and the pipeline looks healthy all the way to the end of the year. Why do I tell you this? Not out of vanity (although I am genuinely proud of myself!) but to clarify that never have I had less to be afraid of! Never have I had less to fear or dread; I love what I do, I love where I do it, I enjoy the balance of how my time is spent and I don't have any pressing problems! My home life is lovely and my little family are happy, so what do I have to feel twitchy about?
This is learned behaviour people, habit if you will. I am not particularly old but I’ve had a long time to perfect this pattern so I understand and accept that it will take a little while to break the routine!
So, what can we do in these circumstances?
Well for one, recognise the patterns and see if you can figure out what is causing the reaction. If it is a genuine issue, then look at what the first step might be in order to sort it out. Talk it through with someone you trust and see where you get to.
If it is just habitual behaviour though, then try the “distract and dispute” method i.e. recognise the patterns and then break the cycle by distracting yourself with something you enjoy or an activity that relaxes you. Then, when you’re calm, apply the disputation like I did above. Remind yourself that there is nothing to fear, point out the facts and reality of the situation or talk it through with someone.
Also don't forget to keep those batteries charged! I often overthink and misinterpret my emotional state when I'm physically or mentally drained so keep an eye on your general wellbeing too (there's a post on here all about Wellbeing if you don't know where to start with that side of things!)
Lastly, go easy on yourself! This is going to take some time - old habits die hard, but increased self awareness can create opportunities for new behaviour! Recognising and understand is a brilliant first step but don't be afraid or embarrassed to find someone to talk to if you need support with the next bit.
Right, hopefully this will be of some use to you! I’m off now to chill out with a cup of tea and my book!
Happy Sunday folks (or whatever day you are reading this!)